The Seven Deadly Sins

Between "The Drug of Choice," "The Enablers," and "The Relapse," clearly this project has got me thinking a lot about my addictions lately.

Fuck, that's an ugly word.  Addiction.  I don't even feel comfortable writing it down let alone considering I might have one.  Addiction is a word usually reserved for hard core drug users, people with emotional issues, people without teeth, but the more I look at all the people struggling to stay psychologically afloat around me, the more I feel like maybe everyone's an addict in one way or another.

Cuz I can't fucking get away from him in the media right now, let's start with Charlie Sheen.  His extensive drug habits have been public knowledge since the early 90s.  Relationships with porn stars, affiliations with madams, two marriages, two divorces, domestic violence, criminal mischief, court appearances and state rulings, overdoses and interventions, rehabs and estrangements, probations and prostitutes, all thoroughly documented to the page-turning delight of tabloids and reputable news outlets alike; a sad, misguided train wreck.  However, (and here's the part that nobody seems to care about) despite all his mess and all the colorful reasons to pass easy judgement on Charlie Sheen's extreme lifestyle, am I the only one who's noticed how it works for him?

Charlie Sheen is what I like to call a functioning addict (because you can't spell 'function' without f-u-n).  Is he addicted to cocaine and possibly several other highly illegal, highly hallucinogenic stimulants?  Sure.  In fact, he admits it willingly; but Charlie Sheen is also a man of his word.  He honors his contracts and time commitments, owns several homes and pays his taxes on time, gives generously to his ex-wives and is devoted to his children, shows up to work on time and never fails to deliver a good performance.  While I neither condemn nor approve of his lifestyle (as it's absolutely none of my goddamn business), it seems like Charlie Sheen is a happy, down-to-earth, up-standing citizen even if sometimes he has a hard time standing upright.  He ain't your grandma's role model, but I can think of a few sober public figures who are distinctly more deserving of our national condemnation.  And as far as Two and a Half Men goes, Sheen's character is written as an alcoholic, womanizing, wise-cracking bachelor with little to no respect for authority.  Isn't that why they hired him in the first place?

But enough about Charlie Sheen.

I don't know where the fine line is that divides recreation from self-destruction, but here's what I do know:

At the root of every deadly addiction is a deadly sin, and everybody has their favorite.  In AA it's gluttony, on Wall Street it's greed, in the Middle East it's wrath, and in New Jersey it's lust.  In the town where Charlie Sheen lives, it's either pride or envy depending on who gets the part.  Most of us (and I'm including myself in this) fall into the sin of sloth.  We play video games, watch a lot of TV, aimlessly peruse the internet for funny videos and entertaining blogs, and die very slow deaths until our lives finally pass us by.  We are the majority; we are the herd; we are both the drain on and the backbone of this beautiful, capitalist country of ours, the problem and solution for all our woes.  It's the lazy people who could do something about all the other sinners, if only we could motivate ourselves to care.  I'm taking a first step to overcome my apathy here as I'd rather not be fat, broke, unfulfilled, and living in my parent's basement for the rest of my life.

Procrastination is a resourceful beast and comes in many forms.  It does no good to break one bad habit if it's only going to be replaced with another.  Forswearing the pipe, the bottle, or the the boob tube isn't enough.  To kill the addiction, you gotta kill the sin, too.  The heavy monkey on my back that's been bothering me these last few weeks is no a monkey at all.  It's a sloth and it's fighting for it's slow, lazy life.

One day I'll stab, gut, stuff, and mount that little fucker.

Day 30.  TFR.  SYT.