The F-Bomb

A wise man once said, "Vulgarity is the refuge of the uneducated who lack command of the English language."  Well, fuck-fuckety-fuck-fuck that guy.

I love swearing.  I love ass, I love bitch, I love boner, I love whore, I love cooterpunch and thundercunt, jizzrag and cumdumpster.  I love combining swearwords like assfuck and shitdick, penispuffer and pissflaps to my heart's content.  These words positively tickle my tongue and send me into violent fits of childish delight.  I never really cared for George Carlin but I respect what he was about.

The problem with being Irish Catholic is it's such a fucking oxymoron.   The most talented, foul-mouthed people are somehow also bred into one of the most hostile audiences there is?  Teethmarks permanently indented in my pearly white knuckles from holding back all the shit I really fucking wanted to say, but still I tout piety.  My dad is easily the worst hypocrite of them all.  Two days ago he excuse-my-languaged his way out of calling my sister a fuckhead while last night he reamed me out for dropping an f-bomb of my own on the Pittsburg Steelers.  He literally set down his iPad, looked me square in the face and said, "No one swears in my house; watch your goddamn language!"

Frankly, my fucking mouth is his fucking fault.  Repression of a word only imbues it with the power to offend and offending can be fun.  Watch this:

Nigger.

Anyone out there fuming with indignation?  Even if I, a fervent supporter of free speech, heard this word in polite conversation I'd probably wanna throw down and crack some skulls.  Here's some more of 'em: A-rab, Beaner, Camel Jockey, Chinc, Coon, Cracker, Darkie, Dune Coon, Dot Head, Dyke, Faggot, Gook, Gringo, Guinea, Heeb, Jap, Kike, Lesbo, Mick, Nazi, Oreo, Polak, Porch Monkey, Redneck, Retard, Slanky-eye, Spic, Terrotist, Towel Head, Wetback, Whitey, Wop; every single one as infuriating as it is potent, and sometimes when the rage boils up inside us they spew out of our mouths like poison.  I only use them now to illustrate a point.  Personally, these are the words I'd rather see repressed.

But 'fuck?'  Fuck is beautiful.  Say it in parts: fah-uck you you fah-uck-ing fah-uck.  That one syllable wreaks of sweat, sex and freedom like, "Fuck, I just wanna fuck or fuck something up for the fucking fuck of it!" The etymology of 'fuck' is so old it can be traced back to the Latin in ancient Rome just before written documentation runs out and the word finally gets lost in oral history.  We've quite literally been 'fucking' since before the we had the alphabet to write it down with.  I personally feel it should be used as unnecessarily as is practically possible because, honestly, it's just fun to say.  Besides, anyone who takes offense at vulgar verbiage is most likely just a fucking idiot.  It's a word.  Relax.  Don't let it ruin your day.

Today I'm on a tight schedule.  Only time for some intense pull-ups and dips before a good friend's train arrives (especially when taking into account the time for my mental, blogging exercises).  Gonna have to revisit the weight room later tonight to make this workout more adequate.

Happy day 9.

Thanks for reading.  See you tomorrow.